


Leaving in Peace

by Lucicelo



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Drama, Family Feels, Friendship, Gen, Hints of a crush, Insecurities, Onodera is wrong for ghosting, Onodera x Happiness, breaking up, but Takano would manage to convince him to resume things, ghosting, they do confront each other in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27040270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucicelo/pseuds/Lucicelo
Summary: Onodera Ritsu is done with the dynamics of his relationship with Masamune Takano. So, he takes up upon his hands to make dramatic changes in his life.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	Leaving in Peace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PurpleMarmalade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleMarmalade/gifts).



> I ended up writing this Onodera x Happiness fic after looking through Pinkphoenix's comments on tumblr. So, I might as well gift this to her since she wanted to read a fic where Onodera kicks Takano out of the curb...well ghosted him.
> 
> There might be some inconsistencies since I skimmed through the chapters of sekaiichi.
> 
> No An-chan hate! I brought her back into Onodera's life because she was his friend. The fact that after their broken engagement they don't keep up with each other is just sad to me. Onodera needs a friend who loves him dearly.
> 
> -Lucicelo

Onodera Ritsu was _done._

He wanted nothing more than to go back to his life _before_ Marukawa. To live a life with less stressors and drama. Ever since he relented to stay in shojo, he found himself under the thumb of a man who disliked him from the start. Wanting to prove himself, he didn't switch to a different department and learned the ropes from his fellow editors. All of them welcomed him in without issue. They were not at fault for their tyrant of a supervisor.

Takano grated on his nerves and didn't represent the sort of supervisor he was accustomed to. In his father's company, his supervisor was stern and tough, but he made sure to teach his staff how to learn from their mistakes. Takano berated them for being slow and didn't offer advice. There were teachable moments, but those were far in between. Due to time restraints, everyone almost died to get their authors work in order to edit them.

Once Onodera realized Takano's true identity, he should have transferred. Nothing good ever came with working with an ex or someone who _hated_ you. Takano's insistence in getting them back together was a bad sign, but he ignored it due to his pride. Returning to his father meant bearing commentary over wasting time in Marukawa.

Onodera's stubbornness got the better of him and kept him in the shojo department. Takano's taunts pushed him into staying. No one would claim that Onodera Ritsu was a _quitter._ He completed his work in a timely fashion and went beyond for his writers or manga artists. He _loved_ editing. To see the creator's vision come to life never failed to make him giddy in excitement. Anytime a new author or mangaka appeared on shelves, Onodera tried his best to give it a shot. He knew how exhausting it was to edit works to the point of being publishable and for someone to enjoy it was awe inducing.

It mattered little that he was under a tyrant who wanted nothing more than to overtake him. Their hostility and apparent closeness spurned rumors in shojo and other departments. Although, their coworkers saw it as a result of clashing heads and deadline week, other people might not think the same way. He was sure that people caught them kissing more than once, but kept it to themselves. No one wanted to enter anyone's private business. If shojo ended up imploding due to their _relationship,_ it was no concern of other departments.

Onodera didn't want any disparaging rumors to ruin his reputation. His last name alone rose eyebrows and brought people to ask questions. Granted, the topics of discussion were about his father and his experience when he worked for his father. He smiled through the interrogations before diverting to his author or another subject. Even if Onodera didn't work for his father anymore, it didn't mean he would tarnish Onodera Publishing through being rude.

The morning after being fucked into his mattress, Onodera stretched out his limbs into a starfish shape. Staring up at the ceiling, he thanked a higher power that he didn't work on Sunday. His lower back ached, mind whirled from satisfaction, but his soul felt _heavy._

As he recalled the night, his mind snapped at the copious amounts of times he _denied_ consent. Sure, his previous attempts to deny his consent were ignored, but he gave into Takano's lips and hands. This happened every single time they had sex. Nothing new. During most of those times, he enjoyed the act itself. This time, he felt horrible and unattractive. It was almost as if his repressed feelings spilled through his control.

He attempted to count the times he said no, but his pleasure filled stupor limited the valid ones before his dick spoke for him.

First, he was going to quit Marukawa and move away from Takano.

* * *

Once Onodera found his nerve, he wrote his resignation letter.

The moment he finished the letter, a heavy weight _left_ his shoulders. He wrote it three times before he found it acceptable. There was no use in offending his superiors over his sudden resignation of the shojo department. At least, he kept a semblance of ties with Isaka. Not that he would want to return to the company, but it was good to leave with a great reference. At the end of the day, Marukawa was a _prestigious_ company in the industry. Finding another job wouldn't be an issue for him with their _glowing_ recommendation.

Ever since he got the job in Marukawa, he was promised a placement in _literature_. He was shuffled into the manga department to suffer. Of course, being an editor for manga wasn't all bad, but the unending stress placed on the authors made him feel bad. To see Takano dress down all of the shojo manga artists was nothing short of a common occurrence. He didn't even blink at overhearing his snappy remarks or how he belittled people to push them beyond their limits.

He always thought it was better that these people received the backlash instead of himself. Plausible deniability kept him safe. His heart didn't speed up from the anxiety induced panic over finishing his work while Takano yelled at him.

He wasted no time in his decision to give it to Asahina, Isaka's secretary. Handing it to Takano would result in coercing tactics to make him stay. The previous night's activities left him with a sourness of disgust over Takano's behavior. After months of work related stress and the issues between Nao and Takano, something in his mind snapped.

Despite his feelings building up for Takano, the heart crushing realization of Takano not respecting his consent tore at his heart. He _still_ loved him. _Ridiculously_ loved him. He was his first _love_. His first _everything_. But, it was hard to admit that they were _not_ compatible anymore. Physical compatibility wasn't enough to keep them together for long.

At least, Onodera didn't imagine them working out for the long run.

He chose to arrive earlier than his scheduled time to catch Asahina preparing for the day. After years of working there, he knew that Asahina made sure to organize Isaka's day and kept a clear cut schedule for them to follow. This way, Isaka made sure to handle his company without issue and handle the road blocks. It was similar to how his father's secretary handled his daily business.

He pushed down the hood that covered his head and rushed through the front doors. The receptionist greeted him with a gentle smile and a wave. Onodera grinned back. He didn't want her to alert the shojo department over him acting strange.

He rushed toward the elevators and pushed the right button.

Once he caught sight of Asahina walking to the president's office, he fast walked over to him.

"Thank you for the opportunity, but I'm resigning effective immediately." Onodera held out the letter as he bowed low. "Can you take this to Isaka-san, please?"

Asahina removed the letter from Onodera's hands before he stated. "Proper protocol is to hand these letters to the head of your department."

Onodera straightened himself up with a flush on his face. "I know. I-I found it best to hand it to Isaka-san. The head of my department will find a way to make me stay. I don't want anyone _convincing_ me out of my decision."

"I see."

Not wanting to reveal any of his work or personal related drama, Onodera bowed again. "I have to go now, thank you for your time."

* * *

As Onodera walked further away from Marukawa, he realized he _narrowly_ escaped being accosted in the lobby. Employees were encouraged to arrive early for team meetings or start on their work. Onodera was unlucky in having coworkers who arrived early.

The closer it got to the time shojo started, Onodera's heart _raced._ His hand slipped into his pocket and held onto his phone. He imagined Asahina or Isaka going into shojo and telling them about his resignation. He pictured their confusion and the various reactions.

His phone blew up. Different chimes that signified his coworkers rang out of his phone.

Taking his phone out of his pocket, he looked through all the different text messages. He read his ex coworkers sadness at his sudden departure. Kisa was the most vocal in expressing his emotions through using various emojis. Kisa asked what happened to cause him to leave.

Onodera ignored the words and returned to look at his other messages.

Takano's messages were demanding and spun in a way to either infuriate him or to poke at his emotions. He didn't react to any of it. The last one made his eyebrow twitch at the audacity. Takano said he would wait near his apartment to _talk_. Onodera's laugh sounded strained to his own ears.

 _Nope_.

He wasn't going back home.

He'd rather spend the night at a cheap hotel than deal with the mental gymnastics Takano put him through. Besides, he could go through a night with the same clothes and return in the middle of the day. Takano would have found a way to pull him back to Marukawa and show that his resignation was nothing more than a hissy fit. No. He stuck firm with his decision in cutting ties with _everyone._

Before he responded to any of his ex coworkers, he called his author and explained himself. He didn't want her to find out through Takano that he quit. She sounded teary eyed on the phone as she wished him the best. She spoke about missing his company when she went through her deadline fury. Onodera bonded with this woman after their initial hiccup and she never failed to serve him tea despite her tiredness.

Even if he didn't read shojo, Onodera promised to himself that he would buy her volumes. She deserved nothing less from him. Buying a nostalgic shojo manga would be a good topic to speak about if someone pointed it out on his shelf. The bright colors and cheesy cover would entice anyone to want to pick it up and skim through it.

After he ended his call, Onodera entered a convenient store for canned coffee and a bento. He selected a seasonal coffee flavor and a hearty bento with two tiers. On impulse, he snagged a slice of cake from the bakery area to eat at the hotel. The sugar would help him relax even more before he knocked out while watching movies.

Onodera finished paying his items before he stopped beside the store to take out his phone. Sending everyone a goodbye message, he wrote a dissertation to Takano. He didn't want misunderstandings as to why he left the company and broke up with him.

Once everything was sent, he turned off his phone.

The next day, he _changed_ his phone number.

* * *

The tough part of being unemployed came in setting up an interview through his father's company. Of course, he could call him through his personal phone, but he needed to show the seriousness of wanting to return to the family company. He didn't want nepotism to return him back to his original position. For everyone in literature department, he returned as a new employee. Fresh of mind and willing to take pointers from the senior workers.

Although, in his own form of hypocrisy, he skipped sending the application online and called the company's direct number. Through using his father's secretary, Mori Hanako's extension, she penciled him into the schedule without issue. The older woman knew him since he was a child and was one of the many who showed her sadness when he left the company. When he spoke to her, she sounded excited on the phone for his return.

Hanako worked for his father's company for twenty-three years. No one worked as diligent as her. Anytime his father commented on Hanako, he revealed more favorable things over her work ethic. His mother spent her tea time with Hanako and helped put in a good word for her son's university preference. Her seniority brought on copious amounts of vacations that her family enjoyed.

Onodera didn't know how Hanako managed to balance work and life.

When he arrived in the office, Hanako pulled him into a long hug. Afterwards, she patted down his hair and welcomed him back to the office. Onodera had to swallow the lump in his throat before he started tearing up. She pinched his cheek before she called his father through the intercom. Afterwards, she accompanied him to the office and opened the door for him. Onodera walked inside, his stomach _churned_ at the thought of their first shared words since An-chan broke the engagement.

Hanako closed the door behind him with a slight tap which pushed him to step forward. Looking around the room, Onodera noted the updated furniture and the slight smell of strong brewed tea. Sitting at his organized, but cluttered desk, Onodera saw his father slurping from his favorite mug and a plate of easy digestible snacks.

"Ritsu." His father's stern face softened at the sight of him. "I didn't expect a visit from you."

Onodera swallowed down his nervousness. "Hey dad, um..." He stiffened his body and looked straight into his father's eyes. "I would like to interview myself back into the company."

_"Interview?"_

"Well," Onodera looked into his father's eyes. "I missed working in literature. Marukawa was an amazing company, but I realized I preferred your company. The experience in shojo was life changing, but literature will always be my preference."

Kenji stared at his son for a good minute before a smile formed on his face. "You're rehired."

Onodera gaped. "W-What?"

"I'm glad you returned to your proper place. You always did your best in literature and many of the editors missed your presence, son." Kenji got up from his seat to pat his son on the shoulder. "Your mother will want to hear the good news."

Onodera hunched his shoulders at the praise. He expected a _humiliating_ groveling to poke at his father's heart. Their last meeting came with a tense atmosphere that he tuned to prevent himself to remember his father's stinging words. His parents loved An-chan for him and were surprised that she broke things off.

Why not assume the worst in his parents?

As Kenji wrapped an arm around his shoulders, Onodera inquired. "I'm starting from the bottom, right? I'm new."

Kenji furrowed his brows. " _New_? Son, you interned here for years before taking a proper spot. There is no need for displays among the staff."

Onodera insisted. "I don't want anyone to assume I got my position back because of _nepotism._ I...I know some people spoke about my easy access to my position and I want to prevent it this time."

Sighing, Kenji shook his head. "I understand your thoughts, but we have _three_ literature positions open. Two were dismissed by their authors and the last one ended up taking a different position in another publishing house. You're not usurping anyone from taking a spot. Accept the position, son."

"Are you sure?"

 _"Absolutely!"_ Kenji nodded his head. "I have a author who requested a more level headed editor. His previous editor behaved brash and rude in his approach when he overlooked this author's work. This approach works for some authors, but others prefer a more _guided_ approach. You would be perfect for him."

Onodera rubbed the back of his neck. "O-Oh. What's his name?"

"Kurosawa Makoto."

Onodera's eyes widened. _"The_ Kurosawa Makoto!"

Kenji grinned with pride. "We managed to snag him away from our rival through offering a better deal for his novels. He is currently working on his new novel and has no set editor to overlook his work. Are you interested?"

"Do you have to ask me twice? _Of course!"_ Onodera's eyes twinkled in excitement. "I bought his latest novel and I can't put it down. When can we set a meet up appointment?"

"Whenever you want." Kenji said. "I'll call you later on today with Kurosawa sensei's phone number."

* * *

When he walked through the threshold of his parents home, Onodera found himself in the arms of his mother, Onodera Kimiko. She chastised him for lack of communication while touching his sides and commented about his apparent weight loss. Onodera didn't feel any different than the last time he saw his parents. In fact, his mother smacked her lips over his unkempt appearance. Then again, his mother _always_ had a quip about to something she didn't particularly liked.

Removing his coat, his mother took it from him and placed it on the coat rack. He noted his father's coat wasn't on the rack. Maybe, his father stayed behind to handle last minute business before going back home. He remembered multiple nights where he and his mother ate dinner alone because his father continued working overtime. His mother didn't once complain about his father's workaholic tendencies, but was in awe in how hard hard the man worked in supporting his family.

Onodera used to feel upset about not seeing his father as often as his classmates. He didn't voice his complaint to his mother since she never said anything to her friends and family. He kept it internalized and tried not to seem upset when his father turned him down in attending school events due to horrible timing. Onodera understood his father's work load when he entered the work force. The constant demands of his boss and his work load made it harder for Onodera to return home at a proper hour.

Kicking off his shoes, Onodera placed them in the shoe cabinet before he followed his mother into the living room. Glancing around the room, he noticed his mother changed the colors and decorations for the season. Ever since he could remember, she made sure to showcase holidays without fail. The same went for her cooking. She didn't cook certain food outside of certain times of the year. At least, she stopped displaying his old school projects for all their family to see.

Sitting down on the couch, his mother walked out and returned with a tray. There was a tea pot, a plate of cookies, and two cups. Onodera tried not to cringe at the contents of the tea pot. He knew his mother added medicinal herbs into the tea leaves to help with digestion. Of course, she didn't serve it to her guests, but only served it to him and his father.

Onodera thanked her before he took a sip. He controlled his urge to wince before his mother took notice of his reaction. He could always go inside of the kitchen to grab sugar, but he didn't want her to question how he screwed up the health benefits of the tea. Anytime he visited his mother, she wanted in depth answers about his adult life. He hoped she didn't demand answers about lovers or a new betrothal.

To his relief, she began with the easier to answer questions. Nothing to incriminate him enough to stir her incessant motherly spirit. Onodera relaxed against the sofa as he heard his mother talk about new events that happened in the family. Kimiko kept close ties with all the family wives which gave her an insider to each young persons actions.

Then, the conversation went into moving out of his apartment territory.

"I still have to contact my landlord and cancel my rental agreement." Onodera whined. "Ah...I won't get my deposit back. I still had five months to go before I could leave without issue."

"No need to worry about the apartment." Kimiko sipped her tea. "We will handle the cost of the broken lease and you may move back home." Catching Onodera's wince, she added in. "But, there is a new apartment complex near our district. The new safety features _boast_ about keeping their residents safe from unwanted people entering the premises."

Onodera licked his dry chapped lips. "Mother, I handled finding my own apartment just fine. You really don't need to bother yourself in covering my costs."

"Ritsu, it's fine to let us cover the cost of the broken lease while you're accommodating your new transfer. " Kimiko set down her cup onto her saucer.

Onodera muttered under his breath. "Not that you covered my rent when I went to Marukawa."

Kimiko set her hands on her lap. "Besides, I'll feel less stressed in knowing that you continue being _stable_ in your finances." Her eyes seemed to glint and Onodera shivered. "You _do_ have a good amount of savings in your bank account, right?"

Onodera nodded his head furiously. His mother's doubtful glance caused him to voice his reassurances of his finances. If there was one thing his mother nagged him about growing up was _saving money._ Even if he found her constant lectures annoying, having a nest of money saved his ass more often than he would like to admit.

* * *

After Onodera finished tea time with his mother, he settled in his old bedroom for a break. As he sat at his desk, he managed to get an appointment with the apartment complex his mother spoke about. He cringed at the early time for the tour, but he had free time to spare due to his unemployment. If this place didn't pan out, he could always find a cheaper place near Onodera Publishing.

As much as he liked living in his childhood home, he wanted to regain his personal space. He grew used to doing whatever he wanted in his own home. To have no one comment about the way he decorated his home or what he ate for dinner. He loved his parents, but his mother tended to go overboard in her mothering. Also. she stuck her nose in his personal business.

Good thing she called him before she visited him at his old apartment. He didn't need her discovering his orientation through a surprise visit. The anxiety of it all made him paranoid in locking his doors before he went on his day.

Onodera found the number of the moving company he used for his old apartment and set up the date for the move. A decent time where his mother could arrive to his apartment and lead the movers in where to place his items. He wrote down the information on a piece of paper and placed it on his desk.

Exhausted from calling the landlord and moving company, Onodera looked through his phone and searched for a certain phone number. His finger hovered over the call button as he debated whether or not to do it.

An-chan might not agree to meet him.

Still, he heard from his mother that An-chan graduated and returned to Japan. His mother reassured him that An-chan held him no ill will and would love to meet with him again. Onodera ignored the thought of his mother pushing them back together again. It was something she would do. She set up far too many playdates when they were kids in order for them to get used to one another.

When they were kids, it was easy for them to go out and play. Once puberty hit, Onodera figured out that his eyes wandered toward men. He thought An-chan was cute, but she didn't catch his attention like men did. He dove into books to push this side of himself and keep An-chan's family and his family happy.

Shaking his head, Onodera sighed.

No use thinking about the past.

He made the decision and called An-chan.

* * *

Seeing An for the first time in months made his heart _clench_. He managed to see her from inside the cafe when he observed his surroundings. She appeared radiant and beautiful as ever. Her hair was styled in a French braid and she wore a simple pink dress. Every time they met up, she was effortless in the manner she dressed up.

When she walked inside, Onodera stood up from his chair. He waved An-chan over to their table. "An-chan!"

"Ritsu!" An hurried over to his side and paused a few feet away from him. Although, her smile faltered as she held back the urge to hug Onodera.

Noting her dilemma, Onodera stretched out his arms and gave her an encouraging smile. "You can hug me, you know."

An beamed before she ran into his arms. She squeezed him tight before she released him. "I wasn't sure. The last time we saw each other, we left on awkward terms. I didn't want to presume."

"Meh." Onodera shrugged his shoulders. "You're one of the few who hugs me. I don't mind."

An sat down in the empty seat and noticed Ritsu ordered her favorite drink from the menu. "Ah, you remembered." She moved the glass toward her and took a long sip.

Onodera chuckled. "Whenever we hung out, you tended to order similar drinks. I took a gamble before the midmorning rush happened."

"Well, I thank you for your thoughtful gesture!" An grinned. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright. Although, I ended up breaking my lease and I'm looking for a new apartment. I'm staying with my parents until I seal a new place to live in." Onodera sipped his iced coffee before he spoke. "Also, I went back to father's company." Onodera informed her.

An managed to move her drink away from her before she clasped her hands together, "No wonder your mother was so happy during her last phone call. She didn't tell me much, but was happy that you visited her. You almost never call her to give updates that she assumed you were in some trouble."

Onodera huffed out. "Mother overthinks _everything._ Just because I don't talk her all the time doesn't mean I'm not giving her _all_ my updates. There are things she shouldn't know about."

An nodded her head. "I agree." She sipped her drink. "I haven't told anyone why I broke things off with you, Ritsu."

Onodera snapped his head toward her. "Y-You haven't?"

 _"Nope."_ An smiled. "It's your secret to tell. I just...told your parents that we just didn't fit together."

Onodera arched a brow. "Wait... mom would never accept such a answer!"

An said. "I know. She still is trying to get the answer out of me, but I deterred the conversation to something else. She has to give up at some point. Although, my parents thought you _disrespected_ me, but I put a stop to their line of thinking."

Onodera huffed out, "Your parents have known me since I was a kid."

"Well...father was the one who thought the worst."

_"Great."_

An giggled. "I had to tell him that Kenji-san couldn't have possibly raised a disrespectful son. I think his overprotectiveness caused him not to think logically. I am his _only_ daughter."

Onodera finished off his iced coffee and slumped over the table. "No wonder your dad greeted me with _indifference._ He must have thought that I hurt you enough to break off our engagement."

"I mean...in a way, you _did_ hurt me." An stirred her drink with a sigh. "I was hurt that I wasn't trustworthy enough for you to tell me your secret. Of course, you're not obligated to tell me a thing. We were friends... sort of."

Onodera lifted his head up from the table. "We _are_ friends."

An's smile illuminated her face. "But, the fact that you broke things off with me to follow your happiness was good enough for me. You didn't lead me along and hide his secret life into our eventual marriage. We would have been miserable without love."

Onodera insisted. "I _do_ love you. I can see us becoming best friends in our marriage."

"But, you wouldn't be _happy."_ An said. "Just because our parents managed to find content in their marriages doesn't mean we would have done it. We _both_ want _men."_

Onodera blushed at her frank comment.

* * *

Once he got into the groove of his job, he found himself smiling throughout his day. Literature required a different method in attaining the product where he didn't have to degrade anyone to have a novel ready. His newest author, Kurosawa Makoto, wrote a variety of novels that spanned age groups. He didn't stick to one genre, which made him a verified threat to different competitors. He was _almost_ on par with his old novelist, Usami Akihiko.

Onodera kept in his fanboyish urge to unpack his questions over Makoto's thought process when he created his stories. Every single story brought in a new fresh element that sparked various conversations. Good and bad. Although, Onodera had not found a person who said anything bad about Makoto. Many of Makoto's fans chimed about Makoto's perfect manners and ways of answering the toughest questions without managing to offend anyone. Although, a good PR team helped in training a public person to behave in front of their fans.

One interesting aspect of Kurosawa Makoto was his manner of dress and mannerisms. Makoto wore yukata often and didn't dress modern unless it pertained to public appearances or book signings. A majority of his fans liked seeing a handsome man in a yukata and didn't mind seeing Makoto wear one during book signings. Onodera understood their comments when he first met the man. Makoto invited him inside with a warm smile and commented about certain trinkets that belonged to his ancestors.

Onodera found out that the man belonged to an old family line who lost their power and wealth at the turn of the last century. Despite the lack of prestige, the man grew up with _impeccable_ manners. He didn't undermine Onodera's expertise in literature. In fact, Makoto welcomed his commentary since his previous editor was callous and rude in his delivery.

Makoto _despised_ rudeness.

The first time Onodera met Makoto in person, Makoto bowed low in greeting. Onodera did the same and handed out a box of old fashioned pastries that Makoto preferred. When he looked up, Makoto gave him an approving smile and welcomed him inside. Onodera couldn't help but blush at such a handsome face smiling at him. Especially coming from an author he admired.

As he walked through Makoto's home, he noted a sense of tranquility. There was no overabundance of outside noise and Makoto kept a _surprisingly_ clean home. Onodera was used to walking into disasters and he didn't blame his clients. The stress of deadline week brought down even the most secure authors. Time would tell if Onodera would see this in Makoto's home when he picked up the final manuscript.

Makoto lead him inside of the living room and motioned to his low rise table. There was a couch for him to use, but Onodera chose to sit down on the floor. Makoto retrieved a sitting pillow and left to bring him a drink. On the offer of tea, Onodera agreed without a second thought.

Tension left Onodera got comfortable on his pillow. He picked up the manuscript left on the table and relaxed. Onodera was relieved to see limited grammar mistakes, but there were sentences that he needed clarification on.

Makoto returned with the tea and snacks Onodera brought. He set the tray on the low rise table and served Onodera his tea. Onodera peered at him and saw him pour without spilling a drop. The hyper focus of his face emphasized his square jaw. Quickly, Onodera glanced back at the manuscript before Makoto noticed that he looked at him.

"My apologies for the not offering different teas for you to choose. My current hyper focus on this story has prevented me from leaving my home for anything other than the afternoon walk. During which, the stores are packed enough to deter anyone from going inside for fear of trampling."

Onodera let out a snort. "It's no issue. I understand the feeling of being trampled by housewives. Those women are vicious when it comes to afternoon specials."

Makoto chuckled. "As much as I admire their vigilance, I rather not get pushed aside for a special." He sat down across from Onodera on his own sitting pillow and slurped his tea. "What do you think so far?"

Onodera lifted his head up and locked eyes with Makoto. "I'm enjoying the way you introduced the story. I'm happy to see there are limited grammar mistakes." He turned the page. "I have questions about this paragraph," Onodera removed a pen and circled the sentence that contained dialogue. "What does the character mean when-"

Makoto nodded throughout the criticisms as Onodera pointed out ways in improving them.

They emptied the tea pot and Makoto left to prepare another pot.

Once their meeting was over, Onodera left feeling _accomplished._

He didn't fanboy in front of Kurosawa Makoto.

* * *

Half a year later, Makoto finished his novel without trouble. There was slight anxiety on Onodera's end for the phone call where Makoto said that he finished the novel. Although, Onodera was confident that Makoto would finish in time. His father reassured Onodera that Makoto was one of the reliable author's who never seemed to loose his inspiration. A benefit for an editor who didn't want to pull their hair out in agony when their author called in tears.

Onodera went into _overdrive_ when he edited the book. He spent multiple afternoons with Makoto to find out the intent of certain portions of the novel while Makoto provided _various_ cups of tea. The choice of tea expanded through Onodera's intervention. Onodera took it upon himself to find teas that Makoto might enjoy. To his relief, Makoto enjoyed each brand he received and commented on the right manner to drink them.

Onodera never knew there were teas that tasted better with milk.

Who knew?

After spending months on the book, the pair bonded enough to where Makoto became a visitor in Onodera's apartment. Makoto called first before he made his way to Onodera's home with snacks in hand. Most of the time, they didn't drink alcohol during their conversations. Onodera wasn't sure to offer anyways. Besides, their editor/author relationship was tip toing into a _friendship_ route. Onodera didn't want to ruin it if he offended the man.

Their topics of conversation branched from the novel into their personal lives.

Onodera hid his previous relationship with Takano but spoke of the horrible office atmosphere. The demands in shojo manga left a scar in Onodera's mind that he almost didn't lower his guard around Makoto until _months_ into their acquaintance. Even if he appeared relaxed, his mind overthought his sudden easy work life back with his father's company.

Almost as if he was terrified to go back to his old work environment.

Makoto patted his back in sympathy.

Once Makoto slurped his tea, he took it upon himself to speak of his old editor.

The grimace on his face made Onodera _instantly_ feel bad.

Onodera heard stories from his father, but he didn't expect the old editor to be ignorant enough not to realize that Makoto _didn't_ work with _pressure._ Sure, other authors needed a _push_ to finish their work, but Makoto didn't _need_ interventions into his work. The man finished his novels and started pitching his newest ideas once the printing process started.

The old editor missed on a _godsend_ of a writer.

His loss.

* * *

Once the annual staff meeting ended, Kenji called Onodera into his office. Onodera _tried_ not to overthink the reason why his father requested this individual meeting. After all, Onodera oversaw Makoto's numbers and he did well on opening week. The novel _sold_ enough for a _reprinting_ order from the bookstores.

Onodera swallowed the tension in his throat and waited for his father's word. In an instant, he deflated when his father grinned at him.

Kenji slapped his son's shoulder with a proud smile. "You did well, Ritsu!"

Onodera hunched into his shoulders. _"Really?"_

"Yes! The sales were great! Good thinking on expanding Kurosawa-sensei's audience with social media. That helped boost the traffic for the book _tremendously_. I am receiving _great numbers_ from the sales department."

Onodera rubbed the back of his neck with a smile. "With the changing times, many creators are using social media to connect with their audience. I suggested it and Kurosawa-sensei agreed. He found it as a good tool for breaks and he shows snippets of his life. Although, he is discreet in revealing the genre and premise of his works."

Kenji nodded his head. "Good, good. We don't need someone to leak the contents of his novel and _ruin_ the anticipation."

Onodera nodded his head. "Yeah."

* * *

After deadline season ended, Onodera went to a nearby bookstore and bought his old author's shojo book. He added in books from his list to _somewhat_ camouflage the manga. He felt no shame in supporting his old author, but he still had his pride as a man. He didn't need to acknowledge _the look_ coming from the cashier. Low and behold, the cashier gave him a second look while scanning the manga. Onodera paid for his purchases and left the store without any rush.

As Onodera walked down the street, he recognized Kisa coming toward him. Kisa rushed down the street with a panicked look on his face. A familiar facial expression that Onodera remembered quite well. He felt a _chill_ go up his spine at the memories of _deadline week_ at Marukawa. The caffeinated laced runs, frantic phone calls, listening to their authors _crying_ on the phone.

Onodera averted his gaze from Kisa's form. He prayed that Kisa was _too engrossed_ in his author to pay attention to his surroundings. Onodera personally went into tunnel vision when it came to these out of the office runs. He hoped this extended toward Kisa.

They crossed paths.

Onodera didn't hear Kisa call his name.

He sighed in relief and dropped his shoulders.

His relief was _short_ _lived_.

 _"Ricchan!"_ Kisa grabbed onto Onodera's hand and held onto him tight. Almost as if he didn't want him to escape from his sight. "Why did you change your number? Why didn't you tell us you were leaving the department?"

Onodera gulped and looked over his shoulder. "I didn't want you get involved in Takano's interrogation process. I knew he was going to try to force my number out you guys."

Kisa harrumphed. "He already drilled us about getting your new information. Not that it matters what he wants. He is _just_ my boss. He isn't _anyone_ to demand information about other people out of me. He should have gone to Isaka-san for that information." He tugged Onodera back toward him. "Now, why did you leave?"

Onodera sighed. "Let's go somewhere private." He motioned to the busy sidewalk. "I don't want anyone else hearing about this."

Kisa breathed through his nose. _"Fine."_

* * *

Onodera bought their food and stopped Kisa before he offered to pay. Kisa pouted, but didn't argue against him. Opting out of waiting for the employees to bring their food to the table, Onodera stood near the counter for the food. Onodera knew Kisa was growing impatient from the way he gnawed on his lip and bounced on his feet. The food was placed on the counter fast enough to where Kisa almost ran to get their food.

Afterwards, Onodera lead them around the restaurant and managed to find a private enough area. Sighing in relief, Onodera hurried over to claim the table and Kisa trailed on behind him with their food in his hands. Once they sat down, Onodera and Kisa spent a few minutes in silence. They ate bites of their food and slurped their drinks.

Onodera ate half of his food before he revealed his secret.

As expected, Kisa wasted no time in slamming his hands onto the table. "You two were _together!"_

 _"Shh!"_ Onodera hissed out.

 _"Sorry."_ Kisa slurped his soda. "I knew you two were _close,_ but I didn't know it was this _close."_

"Yeah..." Onodera munched on a fry. "He insisted on resuming our past relationship when I started Marukawa. Of course, I didn't know it was him. Last name was different, his appearance changed as well..."

"Why not go back to him?" Kisa asked with a encouraging smile. "Now, the dynamics are more or less equal. You two don't work in the same company and it's not a breach of employee and employer rules. You two don't have to keep this a secret from anyone. No one in the department cares if you're gay. We're all more or less gay if I'm honest."

" _I can't._ " Onodera answered. "We...we are not good for each other. We both made terrible mistakes and strung each other along. He more or less forced this relationship and I didn't break things up like an adult. I could have changed departments, but I didn't. I stayed because of pride."

"Ricchan..."

Onodera sipped his soda with furrowed brows. "Our previous relationship started because I wore him down and shared my feelings. Now, he did the same thing to me and insisted that I would fall in love with him. The thing is..." He grimaced. "I was _already_ in love with him."

Kisa ate a handful of fries to not interrupt Onodera.

Onodera sighed. "But, we argued a lot. If it wasn't work related stress, then the situations that brought more fights into our shaky relationship made it worse." He slurped his drink before he continued. "It took me a while, but my feelings for him _dwindled."_

Kisa tilted his head to the side. "Is there someone else?"

Onodera's face warmed a bit. "M-Maybe. But, he's my current author and I'm his editor. I'm not about to confuse a fanboy crush for actual love. Besides, he makes amazing works, Kisa-san. I want to follow him on his journey and cheer him on."

Kisa processed Onodera's words before he slyly smiled. "I see. Well, I'm sure this author of yours _appreciates_ your brand of _service."_

Onodera reached over the table and punched Kisa's arm. "Don't you dare go down that route! I don't want to think about your words when I'm talking about his sales and his future book! Stop laughing!"

* * *

At the end of the fiscal year, his father hosted a party for his employees alongside the authors of the creative works that came out of the company. Onodera wasted no time in inviting An-chan as his plus one. She agreed without issue and tagged along with a beautiful dress. His parents appeared happy at the sight of them walking in through the front doors.

Onodera escorted An-chan around the party. He ignored the surprised looks from people who came from their circles when they saw them together in public. After An-chan broke things off, everyone gave him pity glances and condolences over losing her. In a way, Onodera _did_ lose her, but not for the reasons their acquaintances assumed. The reliable friend who listened to his concerns with an open mind, left to finish her degree and began working. He felt embarrassed to communicate with her again with the same confidence as before. An-chan didn't need to hear from the man who broke her heart.

They managed to politely excuse themselves from the more _insistent_ people who wanted to know _details._ After all, their combined presence rose whispers in between multiple groups of people at the party. An-chan guided them out of certain people while keeping her polite smile. As they took a break at the drink stand, Onodera managed to catch his mother waving off the gossip mill with ease.

The somehow managed to sneak away from the bulk of the party.

Hiding away at the balcony, Onodera and An looked at the city skyline. They entered into different discussions about their lives while sharing events that made the other one laugh. Old memories of their younger years surfaced, making them almost fall over themselves.

Onodera didn't want to break the happy atmosphere between them, but he never found the opportunity to breach this topic. The topic of resuming a semblance of friendship with An. Even if they would never get married, Onodera felt he could keep An as a friend for life. She knew his secret and loved him enough not to out him in a fit of rage.

"An-chan?"

"Yes, Ritsu?" An's laughter trailed off as she turned to look at him. She was stunned when Onodera held onto her hands. "Ritsu?"

"I-I want us to be friends again." Onodera bowed over her knuckles. "You are my oldest and dearest friend. You released me from our engagement because you wanted me happy. But, I've missed you, An." He gulped. "The person I thought I was in love with wasn't good for me. We entered into dramatic situations that I...I couldn't focus on myself and _my_ happiness."

An removed her hands from his grasp and cupped his face. She guided his face up and she looked down at him with watery eyes. "I missed you too, Ritsu." Tears cascaded down her face as her voice trembled. "I-I thought you didn't want to see me again. Even without that engagement, we were-"

While cupping An's hands with his own, Onodera straightened himself up. "I _still_ love you dearly."

"Me too." An cried out.

They shared a good crying session outside of the venue. At some point, An wrapped her arms around Onodera and held him _tight._ Onodera released his tears into her delicate curls. Ever since she left his life, he didn't have someone to talk to. Sure, he spoke to his ex coworkers, but they didn't compare to the trust he had in An.

An muttered. "I think...you're strong enough to tell your parents about..."

Onodera stiffened. "An-chan...I..I don't think..."

An removed herself from Onodera's arms with a determined face. "Ritsu, Kimiko-san and Kenji-san will understand. All they ever wanted was for you to be happy."

"Yeah...tell that to my cousin."

An told him. "If I sat beside you, will that help?"

Onodera nodded his head.

* * *

Sitting beside An, Onodera admitted his orientation to his parents.

His mother almost dropped her tea cup while his father turned to him with furrowed brows.

Onodera hunched his shoulders and looked down to the floor. He didn't want to see the disgust on his parents faces over his true self.

Firm in her tone, An interjected. "Ritsu has _always_ been interested in men. When we were together, he confided in me after he reconnected with a past love. I let him go because I wanted him to be happy. Please, don't think Ritsu is less of a son because he fell in love with a man."

Kimiko blinked back her tears. "Ritsu, a-are you sure?" Onodera looked up in confusion. "Did you always...want to be with a man?"

Onodera confirmed with a nod. "I was going to hide this from everyone for the rest of my life. I know plenty of people who forced themselves into a traditional marriage because of their parents. I thought I would go down that route and never thought to reveal this about myself."

An patted Onodera's hand. "I know. But, you agreed that they needed to find out the reason I broke the engagement. I love you, but we figured out we were best friends. Platonic soulmates, I guess."

Onodera chuckled light. "You're the least judgmental person I know, An-chan. You deserve a man who would fight the world for you."

An held Onodera's hand with a smile. "You already do that for me."

Kimiko removed a handkerchief from her kimono sleeve and dabbed her eyes. She always thought that she held her son's confidence to where he could tell her _anything._ Yet, the latest years of his adult life showed that he _didn't_ have trust in his parents reactions. Ritsu switched to another company and distanced himself away from them. Anytime she called, Ritsu sounded distracted or guarded whenever he spoke about his life.

Glancing at her husband, she saw the grim look on his face. After all, An was the daughter of his best friend and thought their match was _perfect._ She overheard the men imagining their future grandchildren with proud grins. Thrilled about combining their families for life. She knew her husband wanted Ritsu to live _happily_ married, but Ritsu's sexuality broke that daydream.

"Ritsu." Kenji spoke up and waited until his son gave him his full attention before he continued. "Why didn't you ever tell us?"

Onodera let out an unflattering snort. "You would have accepted the fact that I liked men? _Really?"_

 _"Ritsu!"_ Kimiko exclaimed.

Onodera didn't stop speaking. "Ever since I was a child, everyone pushed An-chan and I together. We were expected to get married when An-chan settled in her career and _our parents_ settled the wedding date. I was petrified of accepting the fact I didn't find women attractive. I would have gone through the marriage in order to prevent the results of what happened to Kanako. Remember Kanako? I haven't heard her parents talk about her _in years._ They boast about Minako's _perfect_ husband and ignore the fact that Kanako has been with her girlfriend for _ten years!"_

Kenji shook his head. "Ritsu, your aunt and uncle are...misguided in their views. They recently attempted to speak to Kanako, but she hasn't opened communication on her end."

"I don't blame her! We overheard all the _terrible_ things Uncle Minami said about his own daughter. Kanako never did anything wrong but love another woman. She was their golden child until she was caught kissing her girlfriend. I expected you two to react the same way and disown me."

Mortified, Kimiko gasped. "We would have _never_ abandoned you! You are our only child-"

Kenji interjected. "Ritsu, I am _not_ my brother. We might share similar views, but his choice to wash his hands of Kanako was something I _never_ agreed with. I updated him on Kanako's successful career as a chef and the fact she continued her relationship with her high school sweetheart. He didn't believe they would have lasted as long as they did."

Onodera huffed out. "You _never_ voiced it against him."

Kenji said. "It is best not to cause fights between family members. To have my brother face the fact he chased away his eldest child over her orientation would have caused conflict. He knows how to handle his family even if he is in the wrong. Usually, it is best to agree to disagree and handle these matters in private. Although, my comments about Kanako's success have softened him to want to speak to her again."

Kimiko managed to relax her rapid beating heart to add in. "Your father is right. These things take time. We _all_ grew up in a different time. Even now, such relationships are kept under wraps and not shown to the public."

Onodera hesitantly asked. "And you two? Would you accept what I am?"

Kimiko and Kenji shared a look before they nodded their heads.

Feeling the prickling behind his eyes. Onodera hid his face with his hands. His parents didn't say a word as he broke down in the comfort of his hands. As An-chan rubbed circles on his back, Onodera knew it would be alright.

He could face anything and anyone.

* * *

Next time Onodera faced Takano, it happened in the middle of a park.

Considering Onodera made Kisa swear not to reveal his new phone number, their meeting was a chance of fate. A way for them to have closure over the failure of the resumed puppy love of their youth. 

Before Takano opened his mouth, he motioned Onodera to follow him away from the park populace. Confronting one another in public and disturbing the peace wouldn't do them any good. Onodera followed Takano to a private setting, but kept vigilance of an escape route. It would be a _terrible_ idea for Onodera to submit to Takano's kiss and resume their relationship while his mind whirled with lust.  
  
No. 

He needed to think clear _without_ distractions.

Onodera held his ground against Takano's insistence. Despite feeling nervousness while he confronted Takano, Onodera made sure to inform Takano that they would _never_ get back together. It was for the best for both of them.

Of course, Onodera let Takano voice his feelings. It would be hypocritical of him not to hear Takano's opinion over their relationship. He sent him a text message displaying all his well thought out feelings. Takano had a right to pour out his thoughts after a year apart.

When he finished, Onodera wished Takano the best in life and said goodbye for good.

Takano managed to grab his hand, but Onodera yanked it back and kept on walking.

He didn't look back. 

**_The end_ **


End file.
